Showing posts from February, 2011

Nick the Nice Guy: Part 1, or When Do You Know You're Not Interested?

If a guy's really nice, and not awful looking, and clearly really likes you, it's a good thing, right?

What if you've gone out with him a few times, and never felt that "spark"? How long do you give it before you figure out if you are ever going to be interested, or if it's a lost cause? 

I write about date night horror stories a lot, because they're way funnier than the stories about guys who just sort of fizzled out. But in the spirit of balanced reporting, I submit to you the story of Nick the Nice Guy. I'm kind of experiencing a similar situation with someone else right now... so I'm looking for a little clarity on this type of experience.

Nick the Nice Guy: Part 1
Dating site: JDateFake name: Nick (the Nice Guy)
Age: 23
Job: Counselor, works with kids and teens.
Time frame: January and February of 2010

When I started chatting with Nick, I was very excited. Based on the pictures, he was cute, and had a similar sense of humor as I do, and we had …

You looked better online.

I should buy this t-shirt and wear it underneath my clothes on every date with guys I meet online. Just in case.

Coincidences and Valentine's Day

My subscription to ends today, February 13th.

How appropriate.*

I don't actually care all that much about Valentine's Day. It's always been more about the candy for me than the men. Even when I had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day, I didn't do romantic things. I sat onstage with a bunch of other women and talked about vaginas. I performed The Vagina Monologues in college each year on Valentine's Day. That must have been fun for my ex, to watch a girl power lovefest onstage on the most romantic day of the year.

Regardless, being single on Valentine's Day sucks. So I'm going to buy myself some candy and watch Castle. Mmmm, Nathan Fillion, you can be my valentine.

*PS: I have decided to renew my subscription. For you, the readers. I only started this blog a few months ago. It'd be a shame to waste such fabulous writing potential.**

**PPS: Also Match offered me 6 more months for half the price.

Top 5 Dumb Things on Guys' Online Dating Profiles

You would think that if you've taken the time, and maybe the money, to do online dating, you would actually want to find some measure of success. Based on some of the things I've seen on guys' profiles on Match, this is in fact not the case.

So here is a list of the top 5 stupid things that I have seen guys write. All excerpts are real, unmodified (for the most part) passages from male profiles on

5. Sarcastic "fake" profiles

This is when guys apparently think it is funny to create a completely fake (at least I hope, dear Lord I hope) profile. Either they are doing it to show their equally mature male friends with no intention of getting a response, or they hope some girl will find it funny.

Exhibit 5:
   I will pay you if you date me! I am clingy, jealous, and have terrible hygiene. I hate activities. Also, I cry a lot...especially at barbecues (i don't know why). Interesting fact: I love exotic foods. When I was 12 I ate my little sister's gu…