Showing posts from 2012

I'm a Jew and I Love Christmas

Let’s just put it out there. I'm Jewish. And I freely admit it: Hanukkah ain’t got nothing on Christmas.

Don't get me wrong. We really do appreciate your efforts to make us feel included! It's nice that you say "Happy holidays" sometimes instead of "Merry Christmas," though I don't know know any Jews who would be offended to be wished a merry Christmas. You wouldn't be offended if someone wished you a happy Hanukkah, would you?

Society does try to include us Jews in December festivities. Most of the larger chain stores have a section with menorahs, dreidles, a Hanukkah card or two - even if it's one shelf among the aisles upon aisles of trees and lights and wreaths and Santa hats. Usually the 24/7 Christmas radio stations throw us an Adam Sandler bone once in awhile (not literally... ew).

You try to deny what everyone knows but won’t say – Hanukkah just isn’t as cool as Christmas.

Not that it's a contest. Of course.

I like being Jewish.…

The Evening of a Girl Whose Date Canceled Plans

5:30 pm: At work. About to leave to start getting ready for my date. Receive text message from boy canceling plans for the evening. Reason cited: work.

5:32 pm: Debate sending all manner of passive aggressive text messages. Some aggressive aggressive options cross my mind.

5:34 pm: Settle on the mature and less fun option. No aggression of any kind. My therapist would be proud.

6:48 pm: Forced to leave work by the last person in the building who has a key to lock up.

7:07–7:08 pm: Get home. Get mail. Reduced rate on my car and renter's insurance! Woo hoo!

7:09 pm: Walk in door. Pick up cat. OMGKITTYIMISSEDYOU! DID YOU MISS ME? YES YOU DID, OH YES YOU DID!!@!1 YOU'D never cancel plans on me, right, kitty?! Put all of my misplaced emotions into cat. My therapist would not be proud.

7:23 pm: Forced to stop checking Facebook and icanhascheezburger by my growling stomach. Laziness outweighed by hunger.

7:24 pm: Stare into refrigerator. Contents: Chicken salad from Wegmans. Raw veggies …