The Evening of a Girl Whose Date Canceled Plans

5:30 pm: At work. About to leave to start getting ready for my date. Receive text message from boy canceling plans for the evening. Reason cited: work.

5:32 pm: Debate sending all manner of passive aggressive text messages. Some aggressive aggressive options cross my mind.

5:34 pm: Settle on the mature and less fun option. No aggression of any kind. My therapist would be proud.

6:48 pm: Forced to leave work by the last person in the building who has a key to lock up.

7:07–7:08 pm: Get home. Get mail. Reduced rate on my car and renter's insurance! Woo hoo!

YOU'LL always love me, RIGHT, KITTY?!
7:09 pm: Walk in door. Pick up cat. OMGKITTYIMISSEDYOU! DID YOU MISS ME? YES YOU DID, OH YES YOU DID!!@!1 YOU'D never cancel plans on me, right, kitty?! Put all of my misplaced emotions into cat. My therapist would not be proud.

7:23 pm: Forced to stop checking Facebook and icanhascheezburger by my growling stomach. Laziness outweighed by hunger.

7:24 pm: Stare into refrigerator. Contents: Chicken salad from Wegmans. Raw veggies that I was planning to use for dipping. Holy crap, I actually have food. (Note: Contents not typical. Usually only includes half-empty cream cheese, string cheese, individually-wrapped squares of American cheese, and my Brita pitcher.)

This is my excited face.
7:27 pm: BRILLIANCE STRIKES. I will GRILL my vegetables using the George Foreman grill my parents bought me for my birthday! I DO know how to use appliances in the kitchen other than a microwave! (However, I have to look up the directions online.) I HAVE A BASTING BRUSH FROM MY ALL-IN-ONE BEGINNER'S COOKING SET FROM WHEN I MOVED IN. I WILL BRUSH THE VEGGIES IN BUTTER.*

* Capital letters used to denote emphasis. It is not exaggerated excitement. I was truly this excited when I came up with this plan. I was using capital letters on the keyboard of my mind.

7:39: Triumphantly eat delicious grilled buttervegetables and chicken salad. Read at the table.

8:08: Take ice cream out of the freezer and eat it straight from the container. NO ONE ELSE EATS IT, OKAY?! AND IT'S LOW-FAT.

8:15–9:41 pm: Overstimulate brain on the internet. I joined Pinterest today. This is my favorite image of the day. Wish I could have "pinned" this image:
Really, Pinterest? Don't you have editors? THE WORLD NEEDS US.
9:45 pm: Sing "Be Prepared" from The Lion King at the top of my lungs, laying on my back on the bed, kicking my legs around. Cat runs away.

9:48 pm: Remember that I live in an apartment complex. Hope neighbors enjoy screaming female renditions of The Lion King after hours. Maybe tomorrow night I'll move on to Aladdin.

10:54: Decide to blog about my evening for posterity. And because I haven't written a blog post in a looooooooong time. And because I wanted someone to know what I do when I'm alone in my apartment. Just be glad I'm not going into all the details about my state of undress and bodily functions.

11:00 pm: Phone alarm goes off reminding me to take birth control. Throw phone across room.

11:21 pm: Receive text message from boy stating that he is really sorry he had to work and we will reschedule for later in the week. Either he is sincere, or I am a sap. Or both. Because it makes me smile.

Comments

  1. i find this blog rather amusing! where are you from?

    ReplyDelete

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